My Mathematics

1982
11/17
Day zero
Instantly old
Automatically counting

4
Education
Manipulation
Bullied
Belittled
Learn shame
Know pain

By 11
Become a young lady
My flesh hurts
I die and am reborn
A woman against my will
Learn burden
Know another pain

18 I find
More questions
Little answers
Trust no one
Except him
Fall in love
Learn heartbreak
Next level pain

21 education again
Lectures and late nights
Major undecide
Future on the line
Running on empty
Learn anxiety
Finding another kind of pain

29 say "I do,"
2 carry-on's 3 pieces of luggage
Departure felt like -20
Arrival felt like +35
My fate in his hands
Learn to say good-bye
Unimaginable pain

Year 33 say "I don't,"
2 carry-on's, 3 pieces of luggage
Quit being the victim
No longer a punching bag
Learn to say "No"
Numbing pain

Arrive at 34
4 years
4 jobs
1 divorce
2 carry-on's
3 pieces of luggage
Add shame, heartache, anxiety, refusing to let go, and finally doing so...

What does it equal?
Soul obliterating hurt, chaos and yes...pain

But it also equals 35...
35 years
Seeing beyond the pain
Going passed the chaos
Rising above the hurt
Because whenyou sum it up

It equals my strength
It equals my wisdom
My resilience
My courage
My success

This is my mathematics

By Trishanna
14/06/2017