Ready

When are you ever ready?
Ready on time, ready for what's about to happen?

The fear of not being ready
Not having enough time
Or means to predict what will happen next..

My whole life revolves around the word
Ready...

Ready for school
Chasing buses and trains
Not being ready to be a woman
While still being a kid
Awkwardness and metamorphosis 
The evolution of my body

Ready to receive rejection
Applications, institutions
Ready for acceptance
Job titles, Bachelor degrees
Honours and Diplomas

Not ready to sacrifice
Ready to concede 
Not ready to fall in love
Ready to compromise

Ready...

Ready to say yes
Ready to change the world
Not ready to fail at change
Not ready to say no

Not ready to give up 
Ready to split bank accounts
Ready to go it alone
Not ready to be lonely

Ready to rearrange my thoughts
Ready to accept God
Not ready to accept my gift
Then ready to harness it and make it my own

Life is about readiness
Readiness to try
Readiness to love 
Readiness to meet strangers in cafes 
Readiness to bare the truth to those strangers
Readiness for your story to be told

And yet we convince ourselves we are not ready
Talk ourselves out of it.
Selling ourselves on good reasons why not to be ready.

Truth is, I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready.
Ready to love and be loved
Ready to be fought for 
Ready to be convinced
Ready to face fear
Ready to seize moments
Ready to let those moments go

Ready to admit I'm weak
Ready to know my vulnerabilities
Ready to allow someone to win me over
Will you win me over? Are you ready? Is the universe ready?
Is God and all things Holy, ready? 

Are you ready for me?
For all my crazy
For all my whimsical ways
For my wicked temper
Booming voice
Laughter at the inappropriate moments
My random tears
My unfounded fears
For my obsessions and compulsions
Are you ready to take on my sarcasm
Laziness and steadfastness all at the same time???

Are you ready?
Am I ready?

Is anyone ever ready for me?

Inspired by an uncomfortable dream about a real man in a cafe...

By Trishanna
07/11/2017